Torn

Mama keeps asking me,
whether it's possible to come home for this coming Raya,
This is actually pretty bizarre.
as she normally can understand most of my decisions,
i don't even have to explain to her why.
But this time,
it's somewhat different.
Since i spend most of the time being in a country far away from my family,
i always think i don't contribute much to my family.

Now i am really torn,
I do want to fulfil her request,
I love celebrating Raya with my family.
Everyone does.
The thing is i am also having a financial problem right now,
if i go back home again this year,
then i can only afford to pay the rent until next month.
after that i am completely broke.

I should have saved more.
But it's too late now to regret.

What should i do?
Should i come home this time?
or shouldn't i?